Bodger’s Blog – Getting Old
Hello everybody. Apologies, it’s been a while. I believe it was during Covid last time I had anything to say. In the meantime, I’ve been getting old. And, apparently, even more poorly. Anyway, just felt it necessary to say something now.
Mum recently got back from one of her holidays. I say one of, because she seems to have lots of them. She said, ‘I’ve only been away three weeks!’ Rubbish! Three years, easily. I don’t know how she dare lie with such a straight face!
Saying that, the truth is I can’t see her face anymore so I’ve no idea if her face is straight or crooked. I could recognise the face when she left three years ago, but since then, I’ve gone proper blind. I only knew it was her when she came home because of her smell. She stinks in a certain way. We dogs know stinks. It’s about all I do know nowadays.
Anyway, she came in the house, all ‘Hello, hello! I’m home!’ and I thought … Who the hell are you? Then, obviously did the smell thing, and I thought … Oh, you’re back are you? How could you leave me for three years?
I didn’t even go ‘Whoop whoop!’ which I usually do for those I care about. Sometimes I jump up and down like I’m a puppy and spin around the room with unbridled joy! (Well, I used to, when I was an actual puppy). Sometimes, I even kiss their faces – especially Becky’s. She looks after me most of the time when Mum’s off galivanting. It makes Mum jealous. Makes me laugh.
No. A mere tail wag. A reluctant tail wag at that. About on the level of, ‘Ah, here’s my chicken…where’s the beef?’
I stared at her. Which is not that easy to do I can tell you when your eyes are blinded by cataracts.
It’s rotten getting old. I can’t even cock my leg anymore without falling over. Wee like a girl now. I’m glad we only have one little walk a day round the block, couldn’t do with other dogs taking the piss.
And as for food … don’t even think about giving me rubbish dog food. Er, not for me, mate. I’m supposed to eat that low fat prescription dog stuff. Costs a fortune apparently. Well, not having it. Mum’s been cooking chicken for me for ages, but I’ve gone right off it. Even when she puts gravy on it, I stick my nose up. She tries to tempt me with all sorts: veggies, rice, pasta, scrambled egg, turkey mince, skinny ham slices, the odd bit of yummy beef mince. Sometimes I eat it, sometimes I don’t.
Whatever she’s doing must be working because I haven’t lost any weight. I know this because the vet said so. I’m always at the vet to see Lewis. If it wasn’t for me, Lewis wouldn’t have a job. Been going every month for years. I’m diabetic you see. Gotta check if my ‘levels’ are OK. Mum stabs me with insulin twice a day and if things aren’t right, I have a bit of an episode. I had one a few weeks ago. Mum was scared. She thought I was going to die. I didn’t die. Not yet.
Yes, I do sleep a lot. Don’t do much at all even when I’m awake. Well, if you can’t see where you’re going, you stay where you are, don’t you? I bump into things, fall over, piss down my legs, eat only if I want to. But I still like waking up in the morning, hanging about with Chilli like I own the place. (Which I do). I still like saying hello to people when they come and stroke me. Especially Paula, because she always brings treats.
So yeah, I’m doing OK.
Not quite ready for Dognitas yet.
Ahhhhhhh Bidge you’ve got some time left in ya yet. I’ll be back for another holiday sitting in couple weeks xxxx
Well done Bodger. You write as
well as your Mum. Keep going.
Old age never comes alone xx
Thanks Chip xx
Hi Bodge
Flo here. I relate to everything you have said apart from the sexist comment about pissing like a girl. Careful with what you say Bodge or the canine correctness force will be visiting.
Anyway my hoomum keeps leaving me for years as well. I don’t mind as our Becky looks after me and I much prefer her to the normal one.
I’m on the old heart pills but keep the old bag on her toes as she thinks I’ve swallowed it but then finds it on the rug hours later! Only fun I get watching her face. Glad I’m too deaf to hear what the f she’s on about anymore.
Keep well buddy. I might visit again soon and we can piss on that rug together. Ha ha 🤣
Let’s do it Flo! Love it when they have to buy new rugs for us to piss and vom on! xx
Hi Bodger, keep well old boy. This getting old lark is not for the faint hearted, but we have to keep going.
Nice photos! Looking good. All the best Bodg. xx
Cheers June and Graham. I’m doing my best! xx
Hi Bodger. Glad to hear you’re still keeping your mum on the go, especially when she doesn’t see you from 1 year to the next. Stay happy and be safe.
Cheers Eddie, I’ll keep trying! xx
Get those pissy legs washed by your mum Bodger!
She’s running out of wipes! x
Well done Bodger. Carry on Bodgering x
I’ll do my best xx
You just chill out the Bodger and let your humans pamper you sweetie 🥰🥰🥰
Too right!
Hi Bodger!
Jasper Mellers here. I know how you feel about getting old… and as for my Mahuman and Dahuman they go to meet friends, parties and drinkies. Whatever that means. Disappear for hours. My new trick, as I am deaf,is to I talk to myself very loudly all the time. Vettie man says I have doggy dementia. Well I will let you into a secret ,Bodger,I haven’t I am playing them up. 🙃🙃🙃
Take care and a big lick. I hate other dogs so you are lucky .
Jasper xx
Hi Jasper. Good for you! Keep playing those humans up! I’m more of a doggy dog myself. Good to be friends! xx
Absolutely brilliant Bodger xx
Cheer’s Auntie P xx